Quotes

Haley: If you think that I'm getting on this competition floor with some stupid, watered down, cookie-cutter routine, you are seriously senile.

Vickerman: You gonna be ready soon?
Haley: Yup.
Vickerman: You gonna hurt yourself?
Haley: Probably.
Vickerman: Just don't get any blood on the equipment.
Haley: ...Too late!

Haley: If you're gonna eat mat, you eat mat hard.

Poot: Dude, how did we not know about this sport?

Joanne: Don't do it Vic. This is a really bad idea. If you get on this tramp you will have a cardiovasectomy. I'll have a cardiovasectomy! Think about your wenis!

Vickerman: How 'bout the fact that you were one of the greatest natural talents the sport's ever seen? Hmm? C'mon. You coulda been great.
Haley: [chuckling] You're not actually pushing the "you coulda been great" speech. You are a total cliche. You realize that, right?
Vickerman: Oh, OK, come on, uh, Original Recipe, let's hear it. You give me the speech.
Haley: Fine. Uh... Talent out of the ass. Natural ability that half the world's gymnasts would kill for, and you're flushing it away. Don't flush your life away, kid. Step away from the bowl. Whatever.
Vickerman: Well, you got the words right, anyway.
Haley: I wasn't great. I was obedient. I'm sick and tired of being judged. I don't need it.
Vickerman: Fascinating.
Haley: What?
Vickerman: For someone who hates being judged, you're one of the most judgemental people I've ever met. Come on.

Joanne: [Poot asks the girls to skip practice when Vic gets hurt] No! We still have workouts to finish.
Mina: Who died and made you Nadia?

Tricia: What do you think, huh Wei Wei? Beat that.
Wei Wei: Oh, I'm so shaking things up!

Poot: Man, why do you always have to bite my moment? Did it taste good?
Frank: [Slurps] Delicious.

Joanne: Vic, can we retire the old long-sleeved leotards? I have a constitutional right to bare arms. [flexes] Woohoo, Bailey's back [chokes]
Vickerman: Joanne, go do your independent study.
Joanne: Well, doesn't she have to homeschool?
Haley: Mina? Tell the foxy moron I got my GED when I was 15.
Mina: Joanne, Haley got her GED when she was 15.
Joanne: What's with all the closed captioning? I'm not mute! And GED? What does drunk driving have to do with school?

Haley: Don't worry, my heads up my butt too.

Joanne: OK, anything to get out of this tard, that's leotard without the leo in case your wondering.
Poot: Dude she's hot. What you don't think she's hot?
Frank: Man, she's got an apple butt.
Poot: A what?
Frank: An apple butt.

Haley: Gymnastics tells you no. All day long. It mocks you over and over again. Telling you- you're an idiot. If you like pulling pieces of skin the size of quarters of your hands- bars is for you. Because the only thing more fun then rips, is when your rips get rips. It's super sexy. And floor, are you serious, who doesn't want to parade around in a leotard getting wedgies and doing dorky choreography. If you like falling, then gymnastics is the sport for you! You get to fall on your face, your ass, your back, your knees, and you're pride! It's a good thing I didn't like falling- I LOVED IT!

Dorrie: I said pointy feet, not pointy words! Pointy words are mouth turds.

Vickerman: I haven't had four girls qualify for championships in a long time.
Haley: Define long.
Vickerman: I haven't had four girls qualify... ever.
Haley: Are you gonna cry?
Vickerman: No it's just a beautiful thing! [walks off]
Haley: [walking after him] What, you can cry, it doesn't make you any less of a man Vicky!

Haley: Stop being so nasty, Joanne.
Joanne: It's not called gym-nice-stics.

Vickerman: You're popping your clutch, losing traction.
Haley: I'm not popping shit.
Vickerman: Are you sure?
Haley: I'm so sure I'm practically deodorant.

Joanne: Call me!
Poot: Stalk you!

Joanne: Mina, put down the phone!
Haley: Can you tell Joanne I'm gonna take over and do a REAL dismount?
Mina: Joanne, Haley's on the phone. She says she's gonna do a real dismount.
Joanne: I heard her, thank you!

Haley: I think you should get on the tramp again, you know, just to make sure you still suck.

Haley: Elite gymnastics is like, the navy seals, only harder. There are like 2000 navy seals, there are only like, 200 elite gymnasts. Guess that's because there's kids who's rather have a life than spend 6 hours a day training tricks that could kill you. Don't be fooled by the leotards people, the things gymnasts do make navy seals look like wusses. And we do them without a gun.

Joanne: [Jealous that some girls are getting attention from some hot guys] What do they have that we don't have?
Wei Wei: Lives.
Mina: Time.
Haley: Boobs.
[Mina and Wei Wei look at their chests]

Courtest of Kate